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took up a job that doesn't really help on my portfolio and the rest of the stuffs that i wanna do, i can't do it at all..+ right now..there is another job in hand which deadline is so near and that i have to go for camp next week...where the hell is all the time that i should be spending for myself, doing all the things that i wanted to do before school starts? this sucks big time.. i have not really get to enjoy, and that i'm pushed into another sort of lifestyle that gonna last for 4 years..why the hell would i make that decision? not only that i do not have the time for myself, i need to adjust a whole new environment, move into a foreign place, stay by myself. I know that my parents don't really like the idea that i won't be home. I would very much want to be home all the time. be the princess and get served. but i know that i need to be out of my comfort zone. nobody knows how much i dislike it..who likes to be out of the circle that you have drawn? escape to phuket and bangkok for 9 days..my travel buddy asked me if i missed home..i looked up in the sky..and thought..yea..i miss home..but 80% of me just wanted stay in bangkok..spend all i want and enjoy my life to the max.. i don't like to meet people that is forced..i love meeting new people but not when i ought to know them..worst of all...though i'm not in singapore, i'm chased hard by my "clients" argHHHhh...i should totally switch off my phone.. coming back after 9 days, typing on my laptop, just felt foreign to me.. i love it that i get to read , and complete reading it.. not holding on to the com and phone as if its an amulet. this trip somehow made me felt that internet/wifi/3g isn't the main thing for me..i love it that we don't really have much access to all the technologies.. i love it when we are at the vintage market..enjoying the slow rock music.. that i felt i lived again. seriously..now is the time that i should travel, gain a whole new experience from the various countries culture..meet new people that is willing to share their lifetime experience. we met people from mumbai...i felt that was kinda cool! i wanna talk to them more..after all the pictures that are shown online etc.. i would be glad to visit the country one day.. arrange for homestay and experience family bonding. if only we can barter trade now..haha..alright..i don't have much to trade for a plane tix now too..haha.. guess i gonna trade for skills hmm.. not sure why but i felt that i learnt a lot through this trip.. there are many encounters etc.. and all the stuffs that happens, people's decision at critical moments.. i was made to process and think during all the waiting moments that we had. i'm not sure what is it that i'm feeling now..but.. seeing what they are going thru..i would most likely break down which i really feel like doing so for them.. i am really amazed by how strong, tolerance and endurance they have. giving the whole family a big big big big hug.. felt so much better after writing everything down.. decisions is never made easy..from the past. i had to decide.. the fear of making the wrong move but what is a correct and what is wrong? its either a long or short, rocky or smooth.. everything is still you.. i would love to say..looking back down my life.. its never smooth sailing but i'm glad i'm still here with all the love ones, the friends and my family..thanks.. guess its a really emotional night .. |